Hello!
I come here, bruised and battered by American electoral politics, personal grief, and generational ennui, with a gift guide. Shopping won’t heal me, but connecting with others will, and so I’ve focused on presenting ideas for small, mostly secondhand gifts and experiences that will allow you to avoid black Friday. Several are free or relatively cheap.
Here are few articles and newsletters that have shaped how I’ve developed this guide:
Corinne Fay’s breakdown of how refusing beauty standards (and the spending that accompanies them) can be a political statement
On Loving My Clothes With Stains and Holes by Isabel Slone, on embracing flaws in search of a truly sustainable wardrobe. I’ve also been entranced lately by the Instagram account for The Seam, a UK-based service that meticulously mends high-end clothing. If someone has a stain they can’t get out, the service will cover it with tasteful embroidery. In this spirit, I’ve been thinking about opening myself up to giving gifts that may not be in perfect condition.
The Gumshoe shopping newsletter by Harling Ross, which first led me down the rabbit hole of seeking vintage monogrammed items on eBay and Etsy. Ross finds wonderful secondhand home accessories (though nearly all of her fashion recs are for straight or mid-sized people, for what that’s worth).
On to the gift guide!
One quick note: when second hand shopping for the holidays online, I always set my filter on Etsy and eBay to only show me stores in the United States - both to save money, and to ensure my gift will arrive on time. If you’re based elsewhere, you might choose your own home country. I’ve also noticed that if you “favorite” an item on Etsy and wait a few days, you may receive a modest discount code from the shop.
Free or Exceptionally Cheap
A playlist
I’m recycling this from last year’s gift guide as it remains one of my favorite ideas. Bonus points if you gear it towards a specific activity your loved one undertakes regularly: folding laundry, writing, commuting. My wife made me a playlist for my cake decorating classes that I listen to regularly.
Babysitting or Caretaking
One of the best gifts my wife and I received recently was the offer of two close pals to sit with my father-in-law one evening so we could go to a concert. They dispensed meds and watched movies with him so we could have a night out - so simple and effective. Make up a handmade card to give to your friend as a gift certificate, and perhaps consider following up with the occasional reminder text.
A Meal Train
We organized a meal train recently for a friend who had a baby, and when my father-in-law passed away unexpectedly, our friends turned right back around and organized one for us. An endless cycle of tupperware exchanging hands, one that made us feel truly cared for during an exceptionally difficult time. There are a couple free websites that make it easy for folks to sign up to take meal shifts - we used Give in Kind, which also allows you to volunteer to run errands or undertake other household chores. If you have a friend who you anticipate having a rough holiday season for whatever reason, you could gently reach out and ask if a meal train would help (and check in about allergies and food preferences).
Our own meal train was set for every other day, which allowed us to eat through leftovers at a mellow pace. If the item can be frozen for later or delivered in a recycled jar that your friend won’t feel the need to return, all the better.
A Zine
I’ve been thinking a lot about zines since the baker and writer Teresa Finney announced she was producing a limited run of recipe zines filled with hits from her cottage bakery, At Heart Panadería. How charming would it be to make your own zine, filled with your favorite recipes - or heirloom family recipes - and gift it to your loved ones? The Creative Independent has a great zine-making guide and there’s a kid friendly tutorial here that looks cute as well. I think I’m going to put together a zine-making kit for one of my nieces for Christmas this year - she’s been really into making her own books lately.
Mid-Price
Cabbage Ware
In the midst of the Laila Gohar-inspired surrealism renaissance, I’ve got trompe l’oeil and maximalist tablescapes on the brain. The lacquered-lettuce chandeliers of the artist Chloe Wise reminded me of a more humble (and affordable) alternative: cabbage ware, the retro dishes meant to look like broad leaves of brassicas. You can readily find them by searching for the term “cabbage ware” on the larger second hand sites. Another term often used is “Bordallo Pinheiro”, a Portuguese company that has produced the vegetal goods for well over a century. Here is a vase for $34.15, a condiment tray for $21.95, a creamer + saucer for $44.99, and a soup tureen for $39.99. A large serving platter would look gorgeous as a base for a big salad or crudites - here’s one, another, yet another, and yet another, ranging in price from $31.45 to $95.
A Bird Book
For all of us who desperately need to go outside and touch grass: a field guide to the birds of your region. Secondhand, good-condition copies abound on Thriftbooks and Abebooks. I’m particularly fond of the Peterson guide for its beautiful illustrations. Prices range from $3.50 to $18.89.
A Brooch
If I were a fashion writer, I’d want to talk about the return of brooches, for any age or gender. I’m still barely moving out of my all-black comfort zone, but I do love a statement piece of jewelry to punch up a look and make me feel dressier. I only ever wear costume jewelry (I’d just lose the real thing) - here are some vintage pieces I love: this curved, lacy gold-toned wing ($35), this dramatic flower ($24), this golden hand pictured below ($16), this leaf cluster ($19.20), two vaguely military inspired brass emblem here ($35) and here ($37), or this brooch that sort of looks like coral ($49.99). Or how about this somewhat haunting one depicting a man among the ruins ($15)? To find these, I looked up “mid-century modern brooch” or “brutalist brooch” (after the art movement). If you’re Canadian, this dramatic copper and brass pin ($44.87) is located in Calgary.
If your pal is still in the clutches of coquette, I might also direct you towards vintage metallic bow brooches, which could be strung on a length of black velvet ribbon and worn as a necklace. If you prefer your brooches to be more delicate or subtle, you can also explore the search term “tie pin”. And if I had more money than sense, I’d buy this Etruscan Revival mourning brooch ($1945).
A Vintage Playboy
Obviously not kid-friendly, but a friend gave me a Playboy from the month and year I was born and it’s a mind-boggling time capsule - the articles! The advertisements! I found this one from my wife’s birth month and it includes an “exclusive interview” with Yasir Arafat. My own birth month features cover star Joan Collins and a piece by Hunter S. Thompson. It’s easy to forget that you really could have read them just for the articles. Prices are generally around 10 bucks. I’d stick with eBay to find these - just search the birth month and year + “vintage playboy”.
A Fondue Set
Ok so this is maybe not a gift for your pal with a tiny apartment but hear me out - even if you only use it once a year, fondue is really fun! You can buy an unused, still-in-box vintage fondue set for $30. There are scores of second hand examples on eBay in fun primary colors that would look really cute on display. Last year, my family cozied up on the couch with a pot of fondue, a platter of toasted bread, parboiled potatoes and cauliflower, and a crisp green salad - it was one of the most delicious holiday dinners we’ve had in recent memory. You could even include a vintage fondue book and a gift certificate to a cheese shop to round it out.
For friends who may not have the space for a full kit, you can buy the fondue forks separately, or try searching for the term “vintage cocktail pick” or “vintage cheese pick”- you’ll see cute, reusable skewers for olives or appetizers. I like these ones set with abalone ($20), this pewter version with its own holder ($40.50) or these food-themed ones ($57.71). And have you ever seen a cheese mouse ($35.99)?
A Tulipiere
How frivolous yet lovely to develop a vase for one particular flower: the tulipiere was originally designed to grow tulips but is now generally used to fan them to their best advantage. They would be beautiful with any bloom, in my opinion. Upscale versions can get very expensive but I found this pretty blue and white pair for $55, this slightly odd-looking (but in a cool way) milk glass piece for $58, this leaf-painted version for $33.30, this pink and green one for $75, or this artichoke vase for $39. This one kind of looks like a tissue box ($36.70), but in a way I dig? If you want to see more rectangular versions, just look up “flower brick”. This one is probably too expensive at $100 but I like its painted seagulls!
A Handmade Scarf
This might be the most niche of my suggestions, but I recently found this pattern ($9.00) for a handmade hood-scarf hybrid from Merchant & Mills and I think it’s so chic. If you’re handy with a sewing machine you could make it in a day, and it takes less than a meter of total fabric- they recommend midweight wool, corduroy, or quilted jacquard. Etsy has tons of shops specializing in deadstock and vintage fabric remnants. If I were allowed to buy more fabric right now, I’d buy this mustard corduroy ($19.55/yard), this red velvet ($16.82/yard), this lovely plaid (12.98/yard) or this nubby black wool ($14/yard) to make myself a scarf.
A Baking Class
My business partner (the grand name I’ve just decided on for my friend Drew, the videographer and editor behind my most recent cake class) would chide me if I failed to mention this one! We have a new class that will be available just after Thanksgiving, all about how to stack and decorate a small tiered cake. We’re calling it Tiny Tiers, because starting small allows you to learn the techniques and confidence to assemble a larger tiered cake down the line, if you choose. It also produces a cake of an appropriate scale to a mid-sized family gathering, micro-wedding, or baby shower. I’m now offering gift cards to make gifting a class a little easier - a $35 card gives the recipient my king cake class (available during the Mardi Gras season only), and $50 will allow you to purchase the cake decorating classes (A Dome Cake for Everyone and Tiny Tiers). You’ll get $5 bucks off your gift cards through Small Business Saturday (thanks for shopping small). My website allows you to set a custom delivery date for the e-gift card, so you can buy now and have the gift delivered on the date of your choosing.
And even if you don’t take mine, there are so many wonderful online classes these days! I was lucky to be a tester for my friend Rachel’s hand-laminated croissant class ($75) - it’s a very special course and so much fun to dive into viennoiserie at home. Camilla Wynne has several excellent workshops ($30ish-35ish in US dollars) as well: you could choose between handmade marzipan fruit, confections, and a marmalade class. Her marzipan course is one of my all-time favorite workshops. You should consider her incredible book, Nature’s Candy, as well.
Spendy
Ok, to be honest I don’t have anything for this category. I don’t know anyone who can really ball out on holiday presents this year, and if I did, they probably don’t need this gift guide.
Love reading anything you write and this guide was no different! Great ideas, thank you !
This is such a good guide!! I want all of the cabbageware and brooches.